.My JOURNAL 93 : To renew a lost soul

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- Maya Angelou

Just like I mention before on all of my previous blog post, a lot of series of event happened in my life that I wish I could  have talked about here on my blog. It's like my life is a constant roller coasters; its goes up and down. 

So today I decided to renew my blog and just write all my unwritten thoughts...

I won't say renew my blog actually, more on renewing my lost soul I guess?

So bare with me and my style of writing...


For a long time, my blog was something that i'm really secretly proud of. Secretly means I'm scared of people who I know in my personal life even mention about my blog and telling me they read all about my blog posts. I'm embarrass when that happened for quite sometimes; people compliment me on how I managed and kept up with my blog posting, which i'm pretty much sure I'm not doing a great job at this point.

I admit hundred times that I am my worst critic when it comes to my own abilities. That why sometimes I have that tendency to be a perfectionist and I push myself to the limit that I always disappointing myself when I don't reach a certain goal.

However, blogging is something therapeutic to me. I want write everything that I could think of, just type and type words that comes out my mind and read it out loud to release some stress inside of me. And because of that I keep reminding myself why I should kept blogging. I wanted to share my life stories to some people here in blogspot.

I know in my last blog post too I promise some kind of upcoming blog post but it never really happen. Life happens and my life is not perfect. Sometimes I'm too caught off with mix emotions and I tend to forget who I was before. I went through a lot of soul searching again when I went on my vacation in the Philippines. As I stayed there for weeks, I saw myself in a different environment and it really did heal my soul and my point of view change drastically.

I have regain back who I was before, and learned from my past mistake. 

After months later, people see the difference between me and the past me.
And they're probably right. I try to keep everything now as simple minded person and just be positive about my surrounding. Maybe some days I will have that dark side of me shows but as of now, I can say that I'm happy or should I say someone makes me happy??

Who knows? I know? Or maybe you know?

Well thats all for now....

I know my rants and my soul searching are all over the place...

Until next time,

.MyJOURNAL 92 : Somewhere over the rainbow in 2014

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Belated Happy New year everyone!!!

I was planning to blog on the first day of January but due to my work schedule early that morning and unexpected bad experience about breaking in inside my car that day after work.

I assume that 2015 gave me a big bang on the first day of January!

Anyway, lets put aside my rough first day and talk about what happened to me on 2014. 

As have you all notice, I was M.I.A for almost half a year on my blog. And sadly I did gave you guys a lot of reasons why I was keeping myself out of the blogging world for awhile. Somehow I guess I did not really follow through to my promises and ended up disappointing myself for not updating as much as I intended to do.

So what really happened to me??

Well how do I put this...

I worked and played hard? 

Actually i did mostly work, work and work

Let's talk about my job first.....

At the beginning, I never really have a set work schedule. So there are times when I have a shift with split days off and sometimes swing shifts (morning and night time) every week and or I worked six days straight non-stop.

And what do I do on that one day off after six days of working?

Well, most of the time I combine everything I do in one day...

  Get some sleep, do my laundry, and watch k-drama then if I have time, I try to hangout with friends in the middle of all of that.

Although I am thankful that I am a working again and its not the job I intended to get as in my field of career, I tried my best to make the best out of it.
Also I really do need more customer service experience so it's a plus for me to take advantage of the opportunity to gain more experience in retail. And I was lucky enough to work with my closest friends at my current job. I can get to see them while working. At first we were all new to this company and we have no clue what's going to happen to us, but we made it through just like our high school lives and now we all help each other in any kind of positive way to improve ourselves.

Then 10 months later, I became one of the main personnel in my department at night shift, and I have more control of my work schedule now. I can finally have more time to be more productive outside my work and do more leisure type of habits and just be content about my life so far.

Here are some couple of pictures my coworkers and I took every time we go out after work or before work...

Then how about some play time?

Well you guys know me, I love hanging out with all my crazy friends. They are all my ultimate irreplacable friends that I treasure them dearly even though sometimes they make bad choices from themselves that really stress me. Nevertheless, I embrace and love them.

 To be honest, I did have a fall out with one of my trusted friend at the beginning of the year. I'm the type of person that can't tolerate people who gets too cocky about themselves. I can't stand people like that, so I decided that in order for me to be mature about it, I pulled myself out of that kind of friendship and take a little break from them and just realize what I want kind of people I want in my life.

 People sometimes forget where did they started and who was with them in their humble beginnings.

On the happier side, I met new people that really makes my days so much brighter and I really do look forward just being surround by positive vibes, full of laughter and new moments that we all share.

and of course, I have to include the food trips that we had. 

Then lets talk about my love life.

This is a sensitive subject for me to even talk about it on my blog. But I will make it short and simple and hopefully write a long separate blog post about it.

So here it goes...

I can honestly say that i am no longer in a relationship with the guy i loved for 3 years. 

To sum up my half a year of 2014, I would say that I endure a lot of hardship and heartaches but somehow I survived it and still trying to get by.

 My 2014 was the year of balance.

At the beginning of the year, I was lucky enough to find a stable job and make new friends. Experienced new things, go to places i never been to, and ate food that I ate for the first time in my life. However as time progress and weeks become months, I have lost a dear friend of mine that cause me to think about what kind of friendship I want in my life and I got my heartbroken. And that really did not help me at all. It cause me a lot of trust issue and self-loathing about everything in my life. But thats okay.

Now I have a new quote I want to commit this year.

"Never forget to thank god for all the blessing. No matter how good or bad, there is always a reason and it is always for the best."

I love this quote. When I think about the bad times, I close my eyes and remind myself about this quote. Things do happen for a reason. So just move on and just let go of the sorrow in my heart. Just focus on my well being, and be the best and upgrade version of me.

Well thats all for now... 

I wont promise i'll be blogging soon..

Because it only upset me not to met that goal. 

But I can say this to you guys. I havent lost my interesting in blogging at all, I just need to put back what was left in my life and put everything back in order.

Buh byeeehhh for now :)