.MyJOURNAL6 Tears are coming out ;(

by - 8:53 PM

Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.

I must say that my first week of February was unexpected, unlike me, and unpleasant but in the end I’m contented. All of this started when I was trying to figure out what my heart wants and what makes me foolishly in love. I kept everything hidden because I wanted to pretend that I’m not in love and I can live without that person but somehow my heart gave in and well, I cried like a big baby the last few days. I’m an emotional wreck and it’s difficult for me to express everything I felt. I wasn’t going to write this on my blog because I think its private matter but somehow I ended up writing this down and I guess writing this will help me feel better and figure out what do I really want at this point. I felt alone, heartless, numb, broken, pain, invisible. One question I kept asking myself this week was that do I really want to follow my heart and wait? Or find someone else yet I’m still in love with the person I’m waiting for? On top of that I had a lot of studying to do, and it seems to be everything is adding up in my mind and I can’t think straight ;( However my week turned out to be okay, I had the chance to catch up with a friend of mine (guy friend) in a really long time. I haven’t talk to him since I came back from my trip to Philippines and South Korea. The funny thing is that every time I have some kind of problem in my life, he always ends up calling me. I can’t stop smiling that night when I heard him sang one of my songs and played his guitar. Oh and by the way, I took my test on Friday, and I think I did okay. Hopefully I got 90 or above. My broken heart was somewhat okay now but i know everything will heal in time. I admit that I was overwhelmed and I guess I really needed to cry once in awhile.

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